Play the Hand You're Dealt
Sometimes I'm shocked by how differently two people can experience the same phenomenon. A symptom that one patient would just shrug off as "not a big deal," another might complain is the worst tragedy that's ever befallen them.
One huge factor in this is the patient's outlook, their attitude toward life. If you maintain a victim's mentality ("Woe is me, disadvantage X put me starting behind the line, obstacle Y blocks my path, and hurdle Z is too high to jump..."), then a symptom can seem immense. Pain looms like an enemy. It portends failure, signals doom. A related phenomenon called pain catastrophization has recently been described and elaborated on. Its significance in Hand surgery is being discussed by prominent hand surgeons including Dr. David Ring, Dr. Ryan Calfee, and others.
I'm sure there's an overlap with the catastrophization of pain and those who posses a "victimhood mentality", but I haven't seen it described.a=
It frustrates me when a patient who is having a fairly typical experience (or a very minor setback), struggles due to a bad attitude. Life is dealing them decent cards. But they're playing them all wrong, and struggling as a result.
On the other hand, we often see patients who were dealt terrible cards in life. Many of these "bad cards" are not outwardly visible, meaning if you saw these people at work, in a suit or walking past you on the street, you may not even know their disadvantage - and you may be tempted to think they had everything stacked in their favor and that's why they're doing well.
But as medical professionals, we are privy to insider knowledge about some people's problems. We see their private information and know the answers to questions most people can't ask. We know when someone is hiding bad cards.
Yet the ones who have figured out how to play them come into the office with an entirely different facade. Whether they have to work every morning to get to that state, or are naturally positive, we don't know. But they are not only "getting by", these people somehow thrive. They find things that make them happy, they hold a job, perform their duties sometimes even despite physical ailments that might hold most others back, or keep them at home on the couch. The office visit has an entirely different tone.
These patients ask, "When can I go back to work?" instead of, "Can I have another three weeks off?"
They don't ask, "Can I have another week of pain pills?", they ask, "Do I need to take these? What do I do with the extra?"
I'm not trying to say this is just something people can turn on and off, but if a scientist somewhere finds a way to biomechanically flip that switch, instant retirement.
These hidden "bad cards" have helped increase my skepticism of the current societal trend of "intersectionality" - which is basically using superficial identifying information to determine the relative importance of a given person's point of view based off the amount of oppression they may have had to overcome.
The reality is we are all dealt different cards. And your hand is dealt face-down. It's like Hold 'em... you can see the community cards but the "hole cards" are private. Some people get a pair of aces. Some people get no pair. But we all get something, and with the right attitude, that can be all you need.
Do some people who make it to the very top get dealt excellent cards? Sure. But they play them right. Not everybody does. Some spoil a great hand with a terrible attitude. But it's inspiring when it's the other way around.
A patient I met today exemplified how to really play the hand you're dealt. He has a congenital condition called Cleft Hand, which is bascially a split hand, right down the middle. He has had many surgeries over the years, and this is how his hands currently look:
He came in today for something more or less unrelated to the syndrome. But the best part about this visit? He seems like a totally normal and functioning responsible person contributing to society, has a job. Takes zero pain medications. He works as a mechanic! With those hands. Fixing diesel buses, no less. He's got a brilliant attitude about it - this is what life gave me, I can't change it so I'll just do what I can with it.
I almost want to hire him to just sit in the waiting area as a motivational speaker.
So anyway, the next time you see someone thriving and think they've been dealt a royal flush, consider that maybe they're just extracting great value out of an eight of spades and a three of clubs.
One huge factor in this is the patient's outlook, their attitude toward life. If you maintain a victim's mentality ("Woe is me, disadvantage X put me starting behind the line, obstacle Y blocks my path, and hurdle Z is too high to jump..."), then a symptom can seem immense. Pain looms like an enemy. It portends failure, signals doom. A related phenomenon called pain catastrophization has recently been described and elaborated on. Its significance in Hand surgery is being discussed by prominent hand surgeons including Dr. David Ring, Dr. Ryan Calfee, and others.
I'm sure there's an overlap with the catastrophization of pain and those who posses a "victimhood mentality", but I haven't seen it described.a=
It frustrates me when a patient who is having a fairly typical experience (or a very minor setback), struggles due to a bad attitude. Life is dealing them decent cards. But they're playing them all wrong, and struggling as a result.
On the other hand, we often see patients who were dealt terrible cards in life. Many of these "bad cards" are not outwardly visible, meaning if you saw these people at work, in a suit or walking past you on the street, you may not even know their disadvantage - and you may be tempted to think they had everything stacked in their favor and that's why they're doing well.
But as medical professionals, we are privy to insider knowledge about some people's problems. We see their private information and know the answers to questions most people can't ask. We know when someone is hiding bad cards.
Yet the ones who have figured out how to play them come into the office with an entirely different facade. Whether they have to work every morning to get to that state, or are naturally positive, we don't know. But they are not only "getting by", these people somehow thrive. They find things that make them happy, they hold a job, perform their duties sometimes even despite physical ailments that might hold most others back, or keep them at home on the couch. The office visit has an entirely different tone.
These patients ask, "When can I go back to work?" instead of, "Can I have another three weeks off?"
They don't ask, "Can I have another week of pain pills?", they ask, "Do I need to take these? What do I do with the extra?"
I'm not trying to say this is just something people can turn on and off, but if a scientist somewhere finds a way to biomechanically flip that switch, instant retirement.
These hidden "bad cards" have helped increase my skepticism of the current societal trend of "intersectionality" - which is basically using superficial identifying information to determine the relative importance of a given person's point of view based off the amount of oppression they may have had to overcome.
The reality is we are all dealt different cards. And your hand is dealt face-down. It's like Hold 'em... you can see the community cards but the "hole cards" are private. Some people get a pair of aces. Some people get no pair. But we all get something, and with the right attitude, that can be all you need.
Do some people who make it to the very top get dealt excellent cards? Sure. But they play them right. Not everybody does. Some spoil a great hand with a terrible attitude. But it's inspiring when it's the other way around.
A patient I met today exemplified how to really play the hand you're dealt. He has a congenital condition called Cleft Hand, which is bascially a split hand, right down the middle. He has had many surgeries over the years, and this is how his hands currently look:
(he gave me permission to take and use these photos, don't worry)
He came in today for something more or less unrelated to the syndrome. But the best part about this visit? He seems like a totally normal and functioning responsible person contributing to society, has a job. Takes zero pain medications. He works as a mechanic! With those hands. Fixing diesel buses, no less. He's got a brilliant attitude about it - this is what life gave me, I can't change it so I'll just do what I can with it.
I almost want to hire him to just sit in the waiting area as a motivational speaker.
So anyway, the next time you see someone thriving and think they've been dealt a royal flush, consider that maybe they're just extracting great value out of an eight of spades and a three of clubs.
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